what is it that makes us who we are
what distinguishes us from others
how we respond, no?
then also how each thing we take into our perception differs than others
each of us could look at the same picture and be drawn to, be repulsed by, be alerted by something different
so then it is part of who we are, that which we are drawn to
why is this one so hard or so different?
if in truth we all have the same desires, same emptiness, same make, and each takes on a different face
i guess this is what is called humannness
how we respond
to fact
to the truth
to our desires
to what is real
sometimes we have no choice in how to respond... there are very specific and limited options
yet we are given a choice in our perspective, or .... posture rather?
what a great thing he afforded them in the garden, this choice!
can we choose what we love
can we choose the pool which our affections stream to
can eve change her fascination with the fruit
how long had she walked with God beforehand? and what of him did she know?
you know how interesting the consequence of pain was...
this indicator of danger
a gift in a sense?
what if we were not to experience this? what would tell us of our need
she had to have known while she took it, that it wouldn't separate them forever, that he was too big to allow her to be cut off, the knowledge she wouldn't be able to do something about it
was he watching the whole time? like a movie? i mean he knew
what possibly could he have been feeling
i love the simple words
where are you?
it implies they hadn't been together
i wonder the depth of the loss she experienced
could she ever forget the life-altering event
what different knowledge she must have had
before any of the chaos which has since erupted
so this is what bonds us, that we are not different, we all take the fruit
each of us chooses a different one on the same tree
one looks more disgusting
one looks softer
each has its own shine
his heart must have been broken to see it
what do you do as a parent?
do you give your child what he craves so badly?
do you withhold it knowing he wont change his mind
and what if he does change his mind
but he cannot change his heart
i wonder how much she hated that tree
i wonder what kind of person she was
how she responded
if she cried with adam afterwards
if she was silent for years
if she became a distant mother
how things changed between her and God
it's not like she woke up and decided to read her bible the next morning
imagine being the first person to experience pain
what a terrible reminder
and its not like she had options for another man if things weren't working out
i think this is where aching was born
when he breathed into their nostrils the breath of life it was good
was it part of their make up to begin with?
pain, the indicator of something gone wrong
had she ever seen something die before?
did she see the dead animals?
can you imagine nothing ever dying and suddenly witnessing death?
what a colossal thing they experienced!
had they ever been afraid before
now with death
i wonder if when she saw her children for the first time
if she wondered the pain they would experience
and if she blamed herself
did you find out how to walk with Him again?
did you talk after it happened
what did you talk about?
...how did that go over
what was in his face
which emotion took precedence
he obviously still cared
because he provided them with a covering
it cost the rest of creation, but he was willing to sacrifice this
i guess if he hadn't cared he wouldn't have even asked
no he was not silent
he did ask
he was the one who sought them out again
while they were hiding from him
imagine that, hiding from the one who could do anything about the situation
what is it about sin that causes us to do this
he just asks what happened
the curses
maybe this is the fury, anger, wrath
but then its not really that
its just the consequence of what was stipulated before
well the next scene they are adam+eve and child bearing 'with the help of the Lord'
i bet she replayed this day one million times
because you can't go back
you can't just change what happened
you can't go back
i wonder if she could what she would have done?
would she have put up a barbed wire fence around it?
why is this tree with forbidden fruit like the rumor weed, infesting everything
and why?
was it to see what her affections were
or what her trust was?
could she have chosen to trust him though she may not have desired to
it seems he would have been much happier with her had she have desired him
no his happiness with her was never conditioned on her actions
they would have been able to enjoy a much fuller relationship though had she obeyed
i wonder if he walked among them again
that presence
i bet they missed it
deeply
missing a presence
maybe she had sang with him before
i mean a communion... the three of them... maybe the two of them...
what did they discuss
what things did he tell them
and how did this change
i hate break ups!!
i wonder why God chose this to be the choice on which the state of mankind would fall
it wasn't sexual sin
it didn't actually involve another person
it was just the command from God, the item, and its significance...
she didn't decide to smack talk adam one day
she really didn't have anyone else to rely on
it had to be God
i mean, its not like she had a girlfriend she could call up and pour out her laments to
this means it is not what she needed
God always provides needs doesn't he
the whole of creation was about how each created thing fit perfectly into a design deemed "good"
i always imagine meeting them in heaven like they are on these thrones and famous pop stars that people are dying to meet
but i bet they are a humble, small two people
he didn't end it for them on the spot
the consequence was pain
he didn't want them to have to pay for their sin
he had his son do it
i think he loved them deeply
i think what was more disappointing then being doubted and not trusting him
was the rift it made in their relationship
and how it separated them
isn't it all those things i want with her
but meant to be fulfilled in this vague 'presence'
wanting to be wanted
it must come from him
isn't he the author of this
is his chief desire for us to desire Him
because if we desire him...
obedience is inevitable
walking with him
all those things
begin with wanting him
this verse if you seek me you will find me when you search for me with all your heart
it makes me think of that movie where the kid gets lost in china and is looking for the panda
its so big (green, and lovely)
and where are you?
thats what he asked them
