boy, it's been a while hasn't it.
how many lives have we lived up to this point?
how many selves have we assumed and lost?
this post is a note to self - reminder about what to do when we get lost
the reference point is God
it's not Jeremy dying on July 27, 2015 - God knew it was going to happen
He is not surprised
He is in control
He has never lost control
He knew it would happen
Why?
It is too large of a question for us.
He gave Jeremy the choice, and Jeremy chose that he didn't want to be here anymore.
He couldn't take it anymore
I relate a lot to Jeremy. how many times i have thought i don't want to be here anymore.
I can't take this anymore.
Wade through this stinking, green, mush swamp of confusion
But this i find encouraging
Somehow, there are divine appointments God puts along the path
like the Adjustment Bureau... the lines that cross that He made to
I plan my day and the happenings
He puts people in my path I did not expect
He allows things to happen i did not expect
Veronica
Bryna
Bryan
Karrie
Kirby
He let Anna Lisa and Lacy leave the group
He let me be in disagreement with D'Ann
I don't feel like I should meet with Dr. Malcolm. And I shouldn't be so concerned with her feelings.
Just bc she "won't tell me to just go be gay" - pursuing self-exploration, and saying she "won't tell me it is a sin"... well... like the observation Mark made... it's anti-biblical.
"judgement" she kept saying.
We should make the choices and follow peace... where God is leading
Nothing should get in the way of that, and no one.
I don't know if it was God leading me to leave Living Hope. I just know i needed time off and away, I couldn't handle the conflict anymore. I hate conflict.
Communicating with my parents.
Finding God.
Some needs will never change I guess.
but the point of this post is this encouragement:
there are divine appointments. Keep your eye out for who God puts in your path. these people are important, and seek Him on his will with each one. God is at work, no matter how often i have given up, or who around me has. Remember that He is the destination of this journey, and in this, find great hope my friend.
