grace

1. grace
   1. that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech
2. good will, loving-kindness, favour
   1. of the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues
3. what is due to grace
   1. the spiritual condition of one governed by the power of divine grace
   2. the token or proof of grace, benefit
      1. a gift of grace
      2. benefit, bounty
4. thanks, (for benefits, services, favours), recompense, reward

just found this a lovely definition!

from the greek word: charis

from: www.studylight.org

the tale of the vinedresser and his vineyard

a poem i wrote yesterday :) based on isaiah 5:1-7.

clinging to a stony wall
thick green vines there twisted, tall
smooth and bendy, wet with dew
it sparkled with a gorgeous hue

He'd dug out a place, a pasture still
where it rested on the fertile hill
all the rocks He'd cleared away
He'd emptied it of all decay

cloaking a humble black watchtower
the choice vines there began to flower
He was so pleased He hewed it for wine
with great anticipation, cared for the vine

all the tools prepared to press
waited for grapes to make a mess
patiently He pruned and hoed
even set aside his cattle goad

finally, the fruit sprang forth
but they resembled the grapes up north!
wild and riley, the black juice dripping
in the background rang the ripping

of the beloved dresser's clothes
angry He cast down his hoes
He broke the wall, trampled it down
the grapes stared blindly at His frown

He let the wild grapes run free
laid it waste, and let it be
thorns and thistles crowded around
the once green leaves turned sickly brown

He removed the hedge, it was devoured
not a drop of rain was showered
by His word shut up the heavens
and so the black wild grapes there withered

seeking justice what did He find?
bloodshed and a great outcry
the vinedresser perplexed and grieved
could such a thing have been believed

so inhabitants of Jerusalem
judge now between the vineyard and Him
what more was there for Him to do?
what more could He have done for you? 

dealing with loss

so i found this article online, as i've been thinking about grief. i found it very encouraging and wanted to share it here.

"When You Lose Someone You Love"

Genesis 23 . . . . . July 11, 1999

At one time or another, every one of us will have the terrible experience of losing someone we love. We will stand at a cemetery, hear encouraging words if we are able to pay attention, and then have to walk away . . . leaving the earthly shell of our friend or family member behind.
In Genesis 23 we read the account of the death of Sarah, the wife of Abraham. In this simple story I believe we find some help for when we face the times of grief.
My focus this morning will be to primarily talk about the grief that comes from death (for that is the focus of our text), but I recognize that people grieve for a number of reasons.

• friends who move away
• a child heading to school or getting married
• divorce
• the loss of something cherished, like having to sell the family farm, or losing the family pet
• the anticipation that comes with a terminal disease
• a romance that seemed so promising that ends
• a family relationship that is not what you wish it was

Grief comes for many different reasons. I know that right now many of you are enduring a time of grief. As a congregation we have suffered some deep losses this year. If you have sense a little sluggishness in the church, I would contend it is our corporate sense of grief. But I also know that many of you are dealing with severe losses in your life. You have lost people very dear to you and the wound is still tender. So we look at these verses today not as students but as the wounded looking for healing.

SARAH DIED
Our text begins by telling us that Sarah lived to be one hundred and twenty seven years old and she died. From this simple observation please notice, that Sarah lived. O.K., I know that sounds like a ridiculous point to make. But I think it is a simple fact that is easy to forget when we are faced with loss.
This is especially true for a person who has been in a Nursing home, a hospital, or who has been sick for many years. For a period of time it seems that all we can remember is the process of dying. The memories of when that person was filled with life and vitality are hard to recall. We may remember the trials of the disease but find it hard to recall the blessings that came before those trials.
It is this way in any loss. We forget the good and wallow in the bad. It is easy to focus on death and miss the opportunity to celebrate the blessing we have enjoyed. That's why I like to sit with a family and get them talking about the past. Those conversations are among the most precious conversations I have the opportunity to be involved in. We laugh at the joy that we knew and cry at the loss we endure.
In fact, many people make a terrible mistake when talking with someone who has suffered a loss. They avoid talking about the person who died or anything associated with the loss. We say we "don't want to upset" the one who is grieving. But what a foolish approach this is. We are acting like the person never lived. And there is nothing that deepens the pain of one who is grieving like the feeling that the one who is gone has been so easily forgotten. Truthfully, the one thing most grieving people want to do is talk about the one who died. They want to talk about how rich life was when that person was around. They love hearing a special memory or being told that you were missing that person today. Sometimes it brings a tear . . . but it is usually a grateful tear.
I wonder if Abraham sat with his son Isaac and some of the servants and reminisced about the good ole days with Sarah. I wonder if Abraham recalled what a wonderful wife she was to support him when it seemed that God was asking such bizarre things from him. I wonder if told the story of the first time they met, or their wedding night, or the visit from the angels, or the day Isaac was born. I wonder if they laughed and cried and gave thanks to God for the blessing of her life.
Secondly, notice that there was much more to know about Sarah. We have admired her for her faithfulness but we really don't know much about her. We don't know who her parents were. We don't know where she came from. We don't know if she had brothers and sisters. We don't know if she had any hobbies. We don't know what she looked like. We don't even know what kind of marriage she had with Abraham. A person's life is so much more than what we read in their obituary.
Every time I visit a family that has just suffered a loss I return to my car after the visit wishing I had known that person better. There are always dimensions of that life that surprise me. Sometimes as we share family members learn things they didn't know before.
There are unmined riches in everyone we meet. There are blessings to be gained, joys to share, depths to explore. We need to take time to get to know each other. Here are some suggestions,

• tell your stories to your family and if you are ambitious, right them down.
• make it a point to ask others about their lives, their dreams etc.
• take lots of pictures
• Set out to learn something new about the people you care about every day. People love to talk about themselves but we have to ask.

ABRAHAM GRIEVED
Not only did Sarah die . . .we see that Abraham "went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her." We are not clear on the details. When Jacob died (Genesis 50) Joseph and his brothers grieved for 40 days while Jacob was embalmed. Then they traveled to the burial place (the same tomb that Sarah was buried in) and they had a seven day period of mourning. It was only after this that they buried Jacob. So, it was around two months from death to burial.
Now since Abraham lived much before this and was not a part of Pharaoh's court as Joseph was, it is possible that burial was much quicker. We just don't know. We do know, however, that Abraham wept over her.
There is a foolish notion that people of faith do not cry at the death of someone they love. You've heard it said, "I need to be strong." A simple question is this, "Why?" Grief is a natural part of life and death.

• Joseph wept over the death of Jacob (Genesis 50:1)
• The Israelites wept for 30 days at the death of Moses (Deuteronomy 34:8)
• David wept at the death of Absalom (2 Samuel 18:30)
• Jeremiah wept at the destruction of Jerusalem (Lamentations)
• Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus (John. 11)
• The Ephesians wept when Paul left them for the last time (Acts 20:37)

Max Lucado has a wonderful piece on tears,

"Tears" 

Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts. They are always present at such times. They should be, that's their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. The drip, drop, and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. They tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to the darkest despair.
The principle is simple; when words are most empty, tears are most apt.

A tear stain on a letter says much more than the sum of all its words. A tear falling on a casket says what a spoken farewell never could. What summons a mother's compassion and concern more quickly than a tear on a child's cheek? What gives more support than a sympathetic tear on the face of a friend?" When words are hard, tears speak clearly. (NO WONDER THEY CALL HIM THE SAVIOR, Lucado p. 106)

Please notice that grief is natural and normal. If you care about someone you will grieve for them because you have suffered a loss. People grieve in different ways and go through different stages. Some people get angry (at God, at the circumstances, at the relationship they wish they had had), some go numb and don't feel anything for awhile. For some people grief brings on feelings of regret or guilt. Some go through prolonged periods of depression. Most people eventually get to the stage of acceptance and hope.
Notice also that Grief takes time. No one hurries Abraham. We don't know whether he wept for hours or weeks. We make a mistake when we feel that people should be "moving on" after the funeral service has ended. Most people have barely begun the grieving process when the funeral is ended. If after several weeks a person is still sluggish from grief we often are uncomfortable. We try to give answers and be philosophical. We want to encourage people to "get over it".
In fact one of the comments I most hear from people is this, "I'd go visit with this person, but I just don't know what to say." Let me allow the late Joe Bayly to tell you of his own experience of grief after the death of one of the three sons he buried,

I was sitting torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God's dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true.
I was unmoved, except to wish he'd go away. He finally did.
Another came and sat beside me. He didn't talk. He didn't ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour and more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left.
I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go. [The Last Thing We Talk About]

It is my observation that people do not "get over" grief, they just manage it. People are very tender for months and years after they lose someone they care about. And even many years later a tender memory can bring an unexpected tear of loneliness and sadness.
We haven't gotten there yet, but the Bible tells us about Joseph. His brothers sell him into slavery and then tell dad that he has died. Dad becomes inconsolable. Even years later the death of his beloved son is impacts the decisions he makes. The boys don't understand. They thought dad would "get over it". They were wrong.
It is hard to be patient with someone who is grieving. Often times we are working through our own feelings and don't want to deal with the feelings of others. Sometimes we have moved on and someone else hasn't. Grief cannot be rushed.

ABRAHAM FOCUSES ON THE FUTURE
I think the most helpful thing that Abraham did in this passage is what he does after the death of Sarah. The long section from verses 3-20 is an interesting insight into the business practice of Abraham's day. But if we focus on the discussion between Ephron and Abraham we may miss the significance of what Abraham was doing.
It is certainly worth noting that Abraham was considered to be a mighty prince. He was respected. He was respected so much that they offered him burial land for free. Abraham had lived his life above reproach. The result was that he was respected and honored. Abraham, I'm sure appreciated Ephron's offer of a free burial but he doesn't want to bury Sarah in a strangers tomb . . . he wants to own the land where the tomb is.
Abraham only asks for the tomb . . . Ephron offers to sell him the entire field. Was Ephron taking advantage of Abraham's situation? Was he jacking up the price? Probably. Abraham maintains his integrity by dealing fairly even if others will not. The price was declared and Abraham paid it.
What an important place the field of Machpelah becomes! This became a very famous spot because it was here that Sarah, Abraham, Isaac, Rebekah, Leah and Jacob were all buried. This was the burial spot for those called the Patriarchs or the Fathers of the faithful. But we need to see something else.
For all these years God had been telling Abraham about the land that he was going to give to him and his descendants. It was the land of Canaan. For all these years Abraham had been a wanderer. He remembered the promise but as he nears the end of his life he still has none of this land. . . . until now.
Abraham chooses to bury his wife at Macpelah because he believed that God was true to His word. Abraham did not buy this land for convenience. He purchased the land out of faith. He wants this spot because he believes that some day this will be the land of his family. Even in his grief, Abraham is looking ahead in faith.
What a powerful picture this is for you and me. Abraham focused on the promise even in the time of sadness and loss. He did not withdraw from God . . . he stood squarely on God's promise. And if we want to get through the times of grief, we must do the same. We must focus on the promise of eternal life that is promised to all who trust in Christ. We must focus on the promised reunion for all who believe. We must place our trust in the resurrection of our Savior.
At the time of loss we must ask ourselves the same question Abraham asked himself, "do I really believe the promise?" It's easy to profess belief at other times, but when you are facing death square in the face, faith becomes intensely practical and real. At a time of death the resurrection of Jesus is no longer an academic issue . . . it is intensely practical and relevant.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't think Abraham stopped feeling sad. I'm sure there were nights he rolled over and missed seeing Sarah next to him. I'm sure there were times when he thought to himself, "I need to tell this to Sarah" only to remember that she was gone. I'm sure there were times when he was caught off guard and a new wave of grief swept over him. But I suspect that Abraham comforted himself with simple words . . . "someday."

CONCLUSIONS
There are several decisions I hope you will make today.
First, I hope you will decide to make sure your faith is sure. And then I pray that you will work to make sure the faith of your family is sure. The Bible does not promise Heaven to everyone. It is promised ONLY to those who turn to Jesus Christ for Salvation and for new life.
There is nothing more difficult than doing a funeral for someone who appeared to have no interest in the gospel. I know that we are not the judge . . . God is. I know that some people turn to Christ in the last moments of their life. But some don't. In those times it is hard to speak with any sense of hope. For these people death IS a tragedy rather than a victory.
Don't leave your family to wonder about you. And don't let your family members proceed in this life without the confidence that is found only in a personal and life changing relationship with Jesus. We are not good enough to earn Heaven. We need the help of Christ if we have any hope of salvation. We must turn to Him or be lost forever! Wake up my friends, we really are talking about life and death. Why not sit down as a family and talk about eternity today?
Secondly, I hope you decide today to be a friend to those who are grieving. Be patient. Listen. Share stories of the good old days. Let the person know that they do not grieve alone.
Finally, I hope you will set out to make the most of life. Cherish the people God brings into your life. Open your eyes. Take it all in. Ask questions. Celebrate life. Live today so that you will have no regrets tomorrow. But I warn you, if you live this way grief may be more intense. The hurt of loss will be more severe. But, the only way to avoid grief is to keep everyone at a distance. In other words, to avoid loving. And to do that, is to waste life.

Rev. Bruce Goettsche

forbidden fruit

well among confessions, I'd like to share something God's teaching me.


i've had kind of a sinful month. i kind of came to the end of it when i saw some porn clips in some dishonorable movies i was watching... i've never watched porn before... and im guessing since they were lez movies it counts so that was pretty low. it was the next day when i was bored flipping through, and watched a few minutes of something terrible that i decided, i never want to see this again.

after going to my friend's wedding recently, it struck me how much they put into the vows, how serious it was, this covenant in marriage, and i got this idea i would get a ring for God. i still don't know if i will use the word vow... because i know i'm sinful and it's likely i will fall again... but if i claim to be His already, then i've kind of already made those promises to Him right?? i mean like... doesn't it say that in the bible somewhere? that it's a kind of spiritual adultery against Christ? but a lot of the time i act like there's still room for what is outside the bounds of what He's allowed for.

mostly i have been pushing the line with this girl at work, Kelsey. and i knew it the day she came like a month ago, because she is the new manager. and guess what, i have authority issues, so it was like inborn in me to want to friend her. this whole month i've just been confused about it... trying to figure it out... trying to identify why i'm feeling what i'm feeling... it's hard too, because she is one person at work, and completely different outside of it. one minute she is the charming, young boss who knows what's up... and the next she is the road raging, F-bombing, jager shooter. you would never know. it's kind of a trip.

i said in an earlier post i've never wanted to act out this bad in my life. and it's a true statement... which i haven't been helping, since i've been feeding so much of the other side. all the times i have been to her house, have been like "fails." the first night, i just wanted to stay out late, and ignoring my parents calls, came home to some pissed off parents who almost had me move out that night. that was the end of my car privileges. the second night, i bought this huge bottle of hypnotic over... because i wanted to impress her. this past weekend... i had my first hangover because i was shooting jag with her til 4am, when i was dead tired. and i hate jag. my throat is still recovering, because i got so sick. i've felt like there's a balloon in my head and haven't been hungry for like 2 days. its funny i never think of the consequences of sin?


as if this weren't enough to steer me away... and the fact that she has a boyfriend - i mean, fiance - and all she talks about is him - and that he is a nice guy and i would never want to upset what they have going there --- as if this wasn't enough, there is just something captivating about her to me. i wonder though, if it is only because of the position she is in... if she had been an employee on an equal level with me, if i would have ever seen her in the special way i see her now. i want to know what is it about the authorities in my life, that have this power over me. i hear that any power someone has over us, is power that we have granted to them. of course, this would not be true for God, because whether or not i  give it to Him... to Him belongs all power and authority. there's a thought.


so while i'm sucking on my ricola, feeling stupid about my first, and i hope to God last hangover... reflecting on the past weeks... several good parts, and many low parts... im thinking about this ring i ordered, because i do want to make some promises to God. like i said, i'm afraid to use this word "vow" because of what comes with it... i don't want to leave room to fall... but i don't want to set the bar too high, because i know i'm human and that i do or will fall??? i don't know if this completes my promises... but these are some i do want to make to God... that i do want to keep, though i am human... ones that i can put myself in the way of keeping, and not breaking, or going back to. i want it to be serious, because it is... it's between me and God, right? isn't our relationship the most important one?

1. i will not masturbate

this is not an impossible promise by any stretch. i wonder what the weight of making it a promise will do though.

2. i will not watch porn
3. i will not get drunk
4. i will not touch a girl inappropriately

this is the hardest one. although i have never broken it, in the past month it has been the one i am most worried about falling in, and most tempting to me.

5. i will spend time with God daily

this one is not a committment to a certain amount of time, or that i will read or pray... but that i will take time each day, however long it is, to consciously spend time with Him and in His presence. i believe this is a doable promise as well. of course ideally, i'll be spending that time reading and praying too. i've been finding most ideals in my life are never reached though... it's ok to shoot for the moon when it comes to going after God, but if i'm still playing games in the gutter, maybe first i just need to get out... to get on a rooftop, even a sidewalk, before i dream about the moon.


it's funny to me, that i have failed miserably in several of these areas, and have reaped the consequences! i mean atleast some of the natural consequences... the shame... how it isolates you from other believers... even my physical sickness right now. and you know what? that one line i haven't crossed is so incredibly tempting to me still. i can't tell you how i would love to kiss a girl, how i have wondered.

but you know what? if I'm honest? what are we playing against here?
- her boyfriend
- how she so badly wants to be with her boyfriend, and only him
- the track record that every time we have hung out it has resulted in poor decisions
- she would probably stop being my friend!
- i... might get fired?
- what about God?!?! His word? what He has done? what He's said?


so where do we go?

i just came back from college group tonight, and it was profound what God was gracious to remind me... He's been pretty gracious...

Genesis 3 is about the fall right... the forbidden fruit that Eve looks at, here:
"when the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it... (3:3a)"

it's basically like 1 John 2:15-17 right?
"do not the love the world, or anything in the world. if anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. for everything in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - comes not from the Father but from the world. the world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever."

she looks... its beautiful! it is... she's gazing. she's beholding. guess what, it is good for food... it pleases the eye -- and desirable for wisdom. all the 1john lusts. but what had God said? it wasn't like a grey area. it wasn't like... don't eat the seeds, you can eat the fruit --- no it was very clear. don't eat the fruit. He wasn't being mean, it was just the rule. if they eat, they die. and they chose to eat.

this passage twisted my heart tonight as i thought of the clear rules i KNOW He has already set forth. i know what God has said on the matter. or i know what i believe He has said. so i guess i have to not look at the immediate gratification, but i can consider the consequences too! like the consequences for my numerous other sins... like the consequences Adam and Eve experienced... how they lost the garden. the pain in childbirth. the thorns and thistles. how it drove them to hide from God. so many things upset, because of a wretched fruit.


i hope in the times i find myself longing for what is forbidden, that i will think on this story... that i will set my thoughts on the Creator who cries, "My people have forgotten me." wasn't He there first? don't each of them come and go, but He remains the constant? why is it so hard to be faithful to Him?


i want the ring to be a symbol of my love for Him... because i do want to love Him and to grow in this... i do want to obey, to have heart affections for Him, to stop falling. if i need to wall off that tree for a while, then i need to do it, and keep to my boundaries. when i start wandering in the woods, wondering what is behind the bricks i have labored so hard to construct, and i begin digging just to see the wonder of this tree that holds this fruit that lies behind the wall, i need to stop. i need to pause, and step back. what did she say? it's as if the whole OT is a big billboard that says, "REMEMBER"... remember Him... i have to remember Him and the ways He has shown His love to me, though i find it so hard to believe. i know that if i find it in Him, i don't need to find it anywhere else.


"If you seek Me, you will find Me, when you search for Me with all of your heart"
Jeremiah 29:13

lost & found

lost.
this word is packed with meaning isn't it.

1 her lost keys missing, mislaid, misplaced, vanished, disappeared, gonemissing, gone astray, forgotten, nowhere to be found; absent, not present, strayed; irretrievable, unrecoverable.2 I think we're lost off course, off track, disorientated, having lost one's bearings, going around in circles, adrift, at sea, astray.3 a lost opportunity missed, forfeited, neglected, wasted, squandered, gone by the boards; informal down the drain.4 lost traditions bygone, past, former, one-time, previous, old, olden,departed, vanished, forgotten, consigned to oblivion, extinct, dead,gone.5 lost species and habitats extinct, died out, defunct, vanished, gone;destroyed, wiped out, ruined, wrecked, exterminated, eradicated.6 a lost cause hopeless, beyond hope, futile, forlorn, failed, beyond remedy, beyond recovery.7 lost souls damned, fallen, irredeemable, irreclaimable, irretrievable,past hope, past praying for, condemned, cursed, doomed; literaryaccursed. antonym saved.8 lost in thought engrossed, absorbed, rapt, immersed, deep, intent,engaged, wrapped up.
described by powerful words: hopeless, missing, even damned!
lost |lôst; läst| |lɔst|past and past participle of lose .adjective1 unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts : Help! We're lost! | they got lost in the fog.• unable to be found : he turned up with my lost golf clubs.• (of a person) very confused or insecure or in great difficulties : she stood there clutching a drink, feeling completely lost | I'd be lost without her.2 denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered: if only one could recapture one's lost youth!• (of time or an opportunity) not used advantageously; wasted : the decision meant a lost opportunity to create 200 jobs.• having perished or been destroyed : a memorial to the lost crewmen.3 (of a game or contest) in which a defeat has been sustained : the lost election of 1994.PHRASESall is not lost used to suggest that there is still some chance of success or recovery.be lost for words be so surprised, confused, or upset that one cannot think what to say.be lost on fail to influence or be noticed or appreciated by (someone) :the significance of his remarks was not lost on Scott.be lost to be no longer affected by or accessible to : once a vital member of the community, he is now lost to the world.get lost [often in imperative ] informal go away (used as an expression of anger or impatience) : Why don't you leave me alone? Go on, get lost!give someone up for lost stop expecting that a missing person will be found alive.make up for lost time do something faster or more often in order to compensate for not having done it quickly or often enough before.

it's a sad word isn't it.
i've been thinking about the last couple months... and i always find a resting place in this word, lost, that maybe that most accurately describes where i am. 
walking on eggshells in my friendships. blindly reaching around at different groups that might foster my growth in the Lord. you know you can't listen to 'God put a smile on your face' and be in the right state.walking around in the dark at 1am going crazy.meeting a lot of great strangers!buses, shuttles, planes in all directions.chance encounters.so much randomness in my life!

i've got one foot in the world, i know. i know because i've never wanted to act out this bad in my life. i've never felt it this strong, and i'm afraid i might just go there. surely i am capable, and would be too proud to consider myself incapable.
and the other foot is vaguely but ardently seeking God, in all the groups and books and people. but it's only half because one minute that fever is burning, and the next, i've fallen again. the enticement of the world, of forbidden fruit, doesn't lose its luster. one minute i am ready to champion the sanctity of marriage, how it must be one man for one woman, how all forms of homo shatter this beautiful and perfect picture - how it is such a gross distortion - one minute this is a weapon for me, when i think of those women's husbands or boyfriends, how i would never want to violate in any fashion the bounds meant for that sanctified relationship alone. but sometimes those lines become blurred? sometimes the grass on the other side is lusciously greener?
but like justin beiber reminds me: "the grass ain't always greener on the other side. it's green where you water it"
sometimes that beauty is too beautiful for me to behold without a desire to connect to it.dr. susan forward in her book obsessive love calls it "connection compulsion."
so i guess its redirecting the gaze. step back from beholding. Sam says, "trade." we think about what we are interested in. you can't just "change" your feelings or interests, but you CAN direct your thoughts by what you focus your attention on, what you choose to behold, what you choose to give attention to. this is why Bethany is just telling me each time to read the word.

and where is Jesus in all this? Joe taught me to ask this.  http://www.truthmagazine.com/archives/volume40/GOT040049.html

he received sinners didn't he. he ate with them! the sinners and publicans.you know what impressed me this morning to write the post. is he gave atleast 3 parables about his heart for the lost. what a precious thing, that this is an ok place to be, because God pursues people in their lost state. the lost coin. sweeping the house to find it. the lost sheep.
ok you know i've been thinking about circle paradigms and what happens when one single one in a group is pedestaled --- so i got 25 mini sheep from amazon... you know what i looove those sheep!! i was counting them while my niece was playing... i don't want to lost a single one. and those are amazon sheep. what about the sheep, the children that are his creations.... that perhaps he sketched and colored before speaking them into existence (as we see beautifully depicted in Croquis!!).

the 3rd parable is of the lost son. the prodigal son. that picture of the father, looking, longing for his child to return home. running out to meet the pig-stinking prodigal, showering him with kisses, proclaims a feast.
lost&found
powerful words.
isn't there a verse that says - He came to seek and save that which was lost.im hanging onto this one.would you find me Jesus, im looking for you.

while i'm discouraged

note to self while i'm discouraged.

"do not let your hearts be troubled. you believe in God - believe also in Me." - Jesus, John 14:1


its easy to get discouraged right?
see all the problems, issues, how it affects us physically...
its easy to let feeling take over right, and forget the truth?

forget He does love me, even though so often i feel like i must annoy you God, or that i must be disgusting to you... what better way could He have proved it to me that He loves me? he came to earth to die in the flesh in my place... why would He do it if He didn't love me. doesn't he know we're going to screw up anyways. am i forgetting that beautiful thing called grace?


He's got all this kid. trust Him at His word and what He's said.
walk with Him through it.
isn't this about learning to depend on Him in each moment,
remind yourself of all the prayers He's answered and things He's walked with you through.
you'll get through this too. it will be okay.
it's all been met in Jesus, this Jesus. He was the Good One on your behalf. surrender your own righteousness and find rest my friend. be still and know that He is God. Hide in the cleft of the rock, in Jesus Christ... find fellowship and communion with Him in His love for you. remind yourself the ways He has loved you and told it to you. don't forget Him like Israel did. refuse the idols their power... it's Him! spend some time with Him and remind yourself!!! like she said. isn't the whole OT just a big billboard saying "remember!" and you can pray for them while you are gone instead of just wistful missing.


enjoy the cello :) haha laurie and the speaker idea. awesomeee!


let my words be few - phillips craig & dean

elyse fitzpatrick on idolatry. great read!

Elyse Fitzpatrick

Rachel’s Gods: Women, Idolatry, and the Power of the Cross

Session 1

This is the Law: No Other Gods

What does God command us concerning idolatry. And what does God command us concerning single-hearted worship and devotion to Him. Can’t motivate you to worship by making you feel guilty. I want to show you Jesus, and paint such a picture of the gospel for you, that all those things that presently entice you, all of those gods that call your name, they will lose their voice, in light of what our Savior has already done for us. May the Lord enable us to not only see our idols, but also to see Him.

1 John 5:21 – Little children, keep yourselves from idols. He says this to believers. Idolatry is not just something in Asian cultures. I saw enough Buddha’s to last me a lifetime. Easy to think – I’m so glad I’m not involved in that. Our idolatries are not so obvious as that. It’s not so outward, burn a bowl of rice. For me it’s something else… there are other gods in my life that I worship and serge. What do you love? What do you worship? What do you serve? What are the idols in your heart that drive you, that you love, that you serve, that you worry about when you don’t have? Well here’s the question: what do you worry about? Jesus, Himself said, where your treasure is – that’s where your heart is going to be. then he launches into a long discussion of worry – and what causes worry – is that we have treasure, elsewhere. What are your treasures? If you have treasure here, you’re going to worry, because there are moths and rust and thieves… Look at your worrying… and find what’s at the bottom of that? is it something that I worship, something that I serve.

Exodus 20:1-5… first command? You shall have no other gods before Me. wonderful news – is that, embedded in the Law, even in the first commandment – is the gospel. Listen, here’s the good news. God first of all, speaks to people. I mean, he doesn’t have to. isn’t that good news? He speaks to us. and when he does, he says: I am your God! that’s good news! That’s good news that he calls himself our God, and that we are in relationship with Him. Then He says, what He has done. “brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” That’s the perfect example of what we need to do. out of the house of slavery, out of Egypt, out of bondage – I am the Lord your God --- now in light of that --- don’t worship anything else. In light of the good news, in light of all God’s already done, don’t worship any other gods.

Let’s ground all this in the good news. And the good news is --- He’s your God, He’s brought you out of the house of slavery, out of Egypt, He speaks to you – now, in light of all of that love and goodness – don’t worship anything else but Him.

Deuteronomy 6:5 – you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, with all your mind. how many of you have read this? how many of you have ever done that? none of you raise your hand. NONE of us. none of us have ever really done that. not for more than a nanosecond. Bc just as soon as I think I’m doin it – it’s over, right? awwww, im being so -- -ah – there I go, worshipping myself again. worshipping my own opinion of myself, worshipping your opinion of me… none of us ever really do that.

Now Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? here are God’s requirements. Want to know what God requires of you? hate to do this without reminding you of the gospel and what he’s already done, but im gonna do it anyways. Deuteronomy 10:12-13  - “…to fear the Lord your God, to walk in his ways…” --- what, what? Reverent worship of God, to fear him above everything else. not cringing slavish fear, but, that reverent worship to worship Him, and hold Him above everything else. What does God require of us? that we fear Him, and walk in all His ways.  

REALLY? All? that’s a not happy word there. wait… ALL his ways? What are His ways? Ok He is holy…. And merciful… and just… and kind and wise, thoroughly pure, and good… walk in all His ways, all the time? I mean when im on the freeway, all His ways, all the time? when I’m pressed for time, all His ways, all the time? when my… kids are not supposed to be what they’re doing, all His ways, all the time? keeping Him always as – first in my heart? see what I see in my own life, there’s this passage in Jeremiah 2, and God says, “My people have forgotten me days without number.” K that’s, closer to where I am. I don’t wanna say that I forget God everyday, but… all His ways, all the time… keeping Him as first always in my heart? wow.

“to love Him.” (deut 10 passage continued). Do I love Him? well I know you wouldn’t be listening to this today (or reading) if you didn’t have some sort of love for God. unless your mom made your or something. But generally speaking, people don’t listen to teaching on idolatry unless they have a love for God. if I looked at a video of your life, I think I would see a bent to love God – however – ALWAYS love God? always love Him? always hold Him as first in your heart?

and “to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statues of the LORD, which I am commanding you today for your good?”… Do we do this? I mean, really? Do we do this? we do not.

Deuteronomy 30:6-7 – “And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring [well hallelujah for that], so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, that you may live.” See we need our hearts changed so that we can love Him, don’t we? We need Him to work powerfully in us.

So lets face it. without His prior work in us, we are entirely lost. Love like that – feeling very pressured to get something done… “I only have.. 13 minutes to get something done, and people are in my way – ”… love like that? love Him first of all? love Him first and foremost? When I want something very much? Really longing to have something? Desiring it? and then saying – “Lord, I leave that with you. I’m going to love you more.” See I need God work in my heart. and yes when we come to Christ, He does write His law upon our hearts and changes our hearts… but still, we need that ongoing work of God.

You may be thinking – “well that’s only something the Old Testament talks about.” OT talks about idolatry, but the NT does not. yes it does. And it talks about it all over the place. of course, this command to only love, worship, and serve God --- Jesus himself distilled for us in these words (Matthew 22:36-40): [teacher what is the great commandment of the Law?] – “you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…”

Think about that. think about having your mind be completely, and utterly CONSUMED with love for God. …… [looking totally perplexed] - what?

“…This is the great and first commandment.” See that is a positive commandment, to the negative commandment – you shall not have any other gods before Me. you see, our idolatry is really a function, of our love for other things. other people, who have other desires. So our idolatry – really functions in our life --- because we don’t love God. with our whole heart, soul, and mind.

“And a second is like it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself. on these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Um… you know the reason you don’t love your neighbor? And I’m not talking your neighbor, neighbor – or maybe I am. you know why you don’t love your neighbor? Cuz you have other gods. See, if the Lord God, is your sole love, and devotion --- then you’re gonna love your neighbor – do you know why? Because He’s created in the image of the One you love. So my neighbor. My neighbor who bothers me, who gets under my skin, who doesn’t do what I wish my neighbor would do, whether that’s my brother, or employer, or friend, or the lady in the grocery store who’s in your way. see I don’t love her, John says, because really in my heart I don’t love God.

If I really loved God, I would love my neighbor. See the problem is not – “oh we need to sit around and talk about how to love your neighbor better.” That’s not gonna help. What we need to do is talk about how we love God – and of course, the only thing that’s gonna motivate us to love God, the way we should love God, is the gospel. We’ll get there. I’m having to control myself, bc you know what I wanna do.

Hebrews 10:16-17 – “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws on their hearts, and write them on their minds,” then he adds, “I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.” well hallelujah for that. Amen? Really? I’m going to remember their sins and lawless deeds no more? I’m trying really hard now to stay on the Law [she’s smiling]. He’s gonna put within us a desire – He’s gonna write His law on our hearts – that law that was originally written on stone tablets, outside of us – is going to become a desire within us. He will by His Spirit, at regeneration, write His laws upon our hearts.

And write them on their minds. Isn’t that beautiful? The Lord’s gonna change how we think. [AMEN!!!!!] … And He is in the process of doing that.

Here we are talking a little bit again about loving our neighbor and obeying His commandments. 1 John 5:2-5 – “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.”

(TONS MORE. this is just what i have so far...)